Okay, its been awhile since I said anything about cancer, so here it goes.
Since chemotherapy ended, I have made a conscience effort to take better care of myself. I try to get more sleep (I did say *try*), excercise more (easily done) and eat healthier.
I went to the hospital a week and a half ago for bloodwork. Since I had a blood cancer (Hodgkin lymphoma) this is a good way to check up on me without doing a scan. My next scan is in April.
Going to the hospital brings out the worst eating habits in me. You would think that sitting in a waiting room full of people with cancer, most of them waiting to go into the infusion room would inspire healthy habits. But it has the reverse effect on me.
By the time I left, I was craving donuts. I went to the Dunkin Donuts across from the hospital (convenient!) On scan days, I crave McDonalds. I don't generally eat donuts anymore. McDonalds usually makes me feel like a lead weight has settled in my stomach. But something about the hospital makes these foods enticing. So I eat them anyway. Weird thing is, McDonalds makes me feel better on scan day.
I don't know if its my brain's way of rebelling - the hospital was the site of lots of bad things, so eating junk is my brain's personal revenge.
Or if there is something about the dyes they inject me with on scan day that makes me crave grease (the dye is pretty nasty and since I have to fast beforehand I am usually slightly green when I leave).
Whatever the reason, I have decided to let my brain win. Eating junk food every once in awhile is not the end of the world. After all, I already had cancer.